Blended Family Wedding Vows

Blended family wedding vows are vows made during the marriage ceremony as a way to create a stronger sense of belonging and acceptance most especially for the children. A blended family is a social unit consisting of two previously married parents and the children of their former marriages.

When including children during the blended family wedding vows, it has a huge emotional impact to them. It makes them feel that they are included and involved. It makes them feel significant. On the part of the bride and groom, blended family wedding vows makes each of them aware of the children's presence in the home and their responsibility toward them.

In certain cases, children may not want to be involved in the actual ceremony vows. Do not force the issue. The vows parents say to one another should still include the children, regardless of their role in the bridal party.

How-To Tips
From lovetoknow.com

Children who have lost a parent, gone through a messy divorce or who are unsure about the new life their parents are embarking upon are often sensitive to the idea of a "replacement" mom or dad. Instead of trying to fulfill that role, focus on other positive aspects of the new relationship you will have with the children.

Vows can include some or all of the following, depending on the dynamics of your new family:

• Promise to love and support the children's mother or father (new spouse).
• Vow to support and guide the child in their endeavors.
• Mention the happiness the new family will bring.
• Promise to provide and care for the children.

As previously mentioned, the vows are usually said to the spouse and not to the children unless the children make it known they want to be included. By not pressuring the children to participate but still including them in the blended family wedding vows, you are letting them know they are important without forcing them to accept something they may not be ready for yet.

Actual Example
From marriagemissions.com

Groom: “(Children’s names), I want you to know that I dearly love your mother. We have become very good friends over the weeks and months and we have learned to love each other. As you have so graciously shared this wonderful woman with me, so will I share the love I feel for her with you.

Together, we will learn much more about each other. I promise also to be fair and to be honest, to be available for you as I am for your mom, and in due time, to earn your love, respect and true friendship. I will not attempt to replace anyone, but to make a place in your hearts that is for me alone. I will be father and friend, and I will cherish my life with all of you. On this day when I marry your mom, I marry you, and I promise to love and support you as my own.”

Bride: (Children’s names), I want you to know that I dearly love your father. We have become very good friends over the weeks and months and we have learned to love each other. As you have so graciously shared this wonderful man with me, so will I share the love I feel for him with both of you. Together, we will learn much more about each other.

I promise also to be fair and to be honest, to be available for you as I am for your dad, and in due time, to earn your love, respect and true friendship. I will not attempt to replace anyone, but to make a place in your hearts that is for me alone. I will be mother and friend, and I will cherish my life with both of you. On this day when I marry your dad, I marry you, and I promise to love and support you as my own.”

The bride and groom’s children then responded to the following vows when read by the pastor:

Pastor: (Children’s names), do you promise to love your mother and her new husband?

Children respond: I do.

Pastor: Do you promise to support their marriage and your new family?

Children respond: I do.

Pastor: Do you promise to accept the responsibility of being their children, and to encourage them, support them, and accept them just as our heavenly Father accepts us?

Children respond: I do.

Pastor: (Children’ names), do you promise to love your father and his new wife?

Children respond: I do.

Pastor: Do you promise to support their marriage and your new family?

Children respond: I do.

Pastor: Do you promise to accept the responsibility of being their children, and to encourage them, support them, and accept them just as our heavenly Father accepts us?

Children respond: I do.

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